WELCOME!
WELCOME!
Explanation of pic: My third visit to the Sydney Opera House, but the first time at night. The view is just magnificant! The view of the Sydney Opera House never fails to take my breath away! and may i add: there's something wrong with my digi cam! see? all the photos i took are all so blur-blur one! how?!!
"Should i call him?
or should i write him a small card?
or should i just go look for him?
will he be shocked if i do that?
will he call me?
is he thinking of me?
will he write to me?
or does he not care about me at all?
why are the flowers not fragnant anymore?
why is the wind not blowing anymore?
why is it that my heart can't be at ease?
is it because he is really not thinking about me?
should i call him?
or should i write him a small card?
or should i......"
Took this from a page in the book titled 'Something about Love' written by Jimmy (the famous taiwanese author of Turn Left, Turn Right). Think this totally reflects my feelings now...
Just found out it's really difficult to function in life normally when troubled by matters of the heart. Say, for example, even the choice of movies to watch is a big, fat headache, and the fact that 99.9% of all movies now have some romantic factors to it, doesn't really help.
Thus, when watching a show with a happy ending-- it will be " why can't this happen to me? will such happy endings only happen in movies?" And on the other hand, when watching a movie with a sad, tragic ending-- it will be "oh.. i can soo relate to this. This is a sad sad world.." See what i mean? Either way, it wouldn''t work out.. o(><)o
*Sigh*.. It's a wonder why guys dare say that we, girls, are such unpredicatble creatures. It's like the pot calling the kettle black-- i think guys are the super-unpredictable ones. Especially mine-- one minute super nice, and the next, super cold. Why? is it just him, or are all guys like this? He confuses me to the maximum, don't even know if he really likes me. See? not in love-- headache, in love--also headache..! It sucks to be giving more in a relationship than the other party, but my problem is that i don't even know if we are officially in a relationship-- big, big HEADACHE..! Ahh... this is driving me nuts! and i can't even watch movies to try to get this off my mind (refer to above)... o(><)o
Now, it's like everything i do or see, my mind will automatically link it back to him. Now, i truly understand the meaning of the phrase-- 'Can't get u off my mind'. Every hour, every minute, every second-- no matter what i'm doing, he will just pop into my mind at his own will. Then, i will lose all concentration on what i'm doing. Like this how? And it's not helping that he just happily go off to some other part of Australia, and not call me at all-- no sms, no news.. nothing! One word-- heartless! And to think that i miss him so much, don't even know if he had missed me for even one single second. *Sigh*.. It's a sad sad world we are living in, isn't it?
My 'Prince' had finally came into my life BUT this 'Prince' doesn't seemed to be treating his 'Princess' the right way huh?
oh oh.. can i just add in something irrelevant here? That i really really love his smile! Which is why i want to make him happy, to be always smiling... ^^
Moving on now.. My exams are finally over! Thank God! My very first examinations in Sydney-- over and done with. Well.. they weren't that bad, and i found out in the process that i can actually survive on just 2 hours of sleep everyday! Haha.. so, why should i be sleeping so much on normal days then, just wasting my life away.. haha..
Then, i was so busy, don't even have time to enjoy small daily things like shitting, peeing, eating, showering without the lecture notes ever leaving my hands . But now, i'm so free-- i can spend 3 hours EACH doing the above mentioned tasks, and still have time on my hands with nothing to do. And with not much friends to hang out with over here in Sydney, i'm practically rotting at home now. Gonna find someone to go to the beach with soon. If not, i'll go crazy, and might start biting my house-mates or something (so girls, better find something for me to do soon! haha..)
Oh.. and i found out something recently too. I realised that if u wish for something to happen a lot, and was always fantasing about it in your mind, replaying the scenes again and again in your mind-- when the event actually really happened, u will be in a daze, u won't know what to do. It will be almost like an out-of-body experience, it will be like u are looking at yourself doing it. Then after that, u won't remember actually being in that situation, but the memory of what happened will be very vivid in your mind, down to the smallest details. U understand what i'm saying here? It's like --surreal.
Aiyah, don't know how to express the feeling lah, but it's just sooo weird, so thought i should share this with u all. Ever had such an experience too? Let's hear about it! Leave me a taggie.. heehee.. ^^
Featured song of the day time:
'But i do know' by Mayday (Wu Yue Tian)
(roughly translated)
so it has to be like this?
here i am, tears falling like the rain.
but i do know that not all love will last forever.
but i do know that u may just leave me one of these days.
but i do know, i do know all these..
and i just can't stand it...
but i do know that we shared our laughters and tears.
but i do know that i can let go, but wouldn't know how to forget.
but i do know that every minute, every second after u leave..
will be unbearable...
*Sigh*.. the perfect song for me now.. Given that he's leaving me soon. Why must this happen to me?
"Some day my prince will come,
some day we will meet again,
and away to his castle we'll go to be happy forever.
i know some day my prince will come ,
some day i'll find my love.
and how thrilling that moment will be,
when the prince of my dreams comes to me."
(poem by an unknown author-- i received it from my sis)
i'm just thinking: my prince had came, and the moment was thrilling. But the problem is that my prince's castle is in Japan, and i can't leave Sydney. So, it's still a sad sad ending for this relationship which is not meant to be huh? :(
hmm.. another super long entry, and with so many quotes. Perhaps i should start doing referencing at the end of my entries.. haha.. Anyway, thanks for reading my blog once again. Do come back for more soon..! And remember-- do spread some love around, the world needs it...
Love,
Clare.