watching

Friday, October 21, 2005

Ok... The following words, in blue, is the entry that i was supposed to post yesterday night, but just as i was feeling all depressed and was half way thru it, my dear house-mates came into my room for our daily bonding session. See? That's the good thing about staying with good pals, can always count on them to gossip and crap with me to cheer me up. (Everybody says) orrrhh...

"in one of my that-kind-of-mood again today.. a state in which i'm, for no particular reason, depressed.. with this heavy feeling on my chest and not wanting to do anything-- just wanna go to sleep.. to sleep not because i'm tired, but because it's only when i sleep that i'll feel no happiness nor sadness.. nothing, just a deep blank state..

this will happen to me once in a while.. and it just comes as and when it likes-- and i'll lose all control, and will just fall into a state of depression.. so, it is kind of a wonder, that i actually managed to get myself to write on my blog today.. guess it's because i feel bad for not posting an entry for approximately 1 week already..

anyway, nothing interesting had happened in my life in the past few days.. just the usual stuff-- wake up, go to school (and check out boys on campus), come home, eat, sleep-- mundane type of life-style.. i'm getting pretty sick of my life-style, actually.. really really hoping that something interesting will happen soon..

i am reading a story-book now.. almost done with it.. it's by this Japanese author, Haruki Murakami.. it'd been a long time since i last managed to read an entire book without giving up half-way.. it's really kind of interesting in that it makes no sense (or maybe it's just too deep 4 me to understand).. which is kinda good.. because, when i read this book, i can momentarily hide away from reality-- a reality that makes so much sense, it hurts sometimes.."

Anyway, i'm feeling much better today.. guess my depression yesterday was partly due to the fact that i'm totally stressed out by the discussion that i had with my group mates today.
Well.. u see.. these group mates of mine are 3 guys from my class who i barely know, and to make it worse-- they all speak perfect 'FI-FA' English (FI-FA is the term i use with my pals to describe a very strong australian accent). And of cos, my English, is like, 'like this lor' -- perfect Singlish.
So, i was feeling pretty stressed yesterday night. Think i'll be feeling much worse on the actual day of the presentation-- given that i'm supposed to present in front of a whole class of my new classmates. Die.. what if they laugh at my speech, how??!!
I'm suffering from presento-phobia again..! Think since i suffer from it so much, they should just name the 'phobia of giving presentations' after me.. What about 'clarpresentophobia'? Looks and sounds chim enough-- not bad at all!

So, as i'd mentioned above (words in blue), nothing interesting had happened to me at all in the past few days, and no progress whatsoever with my Mr.K.. Ohh.. but guess what? There are these 2 other cute guys who i was checking out in school on a regular basis. And i found out just yesterday and today that they are both attached. Yup.. A-T-T-A-C-H-E-D!
Really can't believe my (bad) luck. Makes me wonder whether is it because all guys in U Syd are already attached? Or maybe ALL guys in Sydney are attached??!!
Die.. guess i'll just have to die a spinster! Maybe i should go back to singapore and set up a spinster club, I can name it FSC (Forever Single Club). *Sigh*.. it's a sad sad life i'm living now..

Anyway, enough whining for a day. Just gonna move on with life. Guess i should just be thankful for great friends and family.. (haha.. that sounded soo cliche!)

Joke of the Day time!:
Q: What did the ocean says to the beach?

A: Nothing-- it just waved...

Haha.. corrnny! Actually, don't think it's very funny lah, it's just that i couldn't find a better one. There were a few better ones, but a bit too R(A). I wanna keep my blog at NC-16..
But, u can ask me if u want to hear the jokes.. haha.. but i will ask to check ur ID card first, ok? so, better make sure that u r above 18 years old..!

Wanted to feature a song today too, but i'm just TOO tired.. eye-lids are getting heavier by the second. Gonna go to sleep. Thank you for reading my entry. Do come back for more tomorrow, i still have lots of stuff to say.. just too tired to string the words together..

Love,
Clare.

posted @ 12:35 AM