Clarissa.
22.
23/06/1983.
University Of Sydney.
Sydney, Australia.
hi...
thanks for reading my blog...
do come back again soon..!
Explanation of pic: this pic is of the view from my room's window at sunset (8pm)... taken on 19th Nov 2005... beautiful, isn't it?.. it was wonderful to just sit on my rocking-chair and stare out the window..
Explanation of pic: The skies of sydney.. Took this pic of the sky on my way back home from school (or rather the 4km hike back from school) one day. Such a beautiful sky-- white clouds, blue sky... i like...Now.. i'm truly confused. It's amazing how i will actually allow him to turn my life up-side down, play around with my mind. I'm weak, i gave in to his manipulation again. His sudden change in attitube. Hmm.. wonder if there's a reason behind it? Maybe he read my previous blog entry? Maybe, he has a conscience after all, and felt bad about how he had treated me? Or this is just another game he's playing? Once again, i'm hoping he could give me an insight as to what he is thinking inside..
"Can u please tell me what all these mean to u?"
I hope he's not fooling around with me again, if he is, i hope he understands that there is such a thing as retribution. Not that i'm cursing him or anything, i'm actually a very nice gal (haha.. ) but no matter how nice a person is, he/she will still change if tormented by the evils of the world 1 time too many..
Still don't understand why i can't just let go. Guess i'm just a classic love fool, maybe i can't, or maybe i just don't want to. I'm puzzled too..
But actually, it's obvious this is not going anywhere, nothing is going to change the fact that he's leaving end of the year. Hurts so much to even think about it..
Ok, enough about him, if i kept going on about him, i might lose all of my blog-readers soon. (Aaahhh...!) Anyway, it's the examination-period now-- super stressed-out, but not moltivated enough, as usual..
Going to have my very first open-book exam in all my 17+ years of studying. Hmm.. 17 years huh? Wow.. it's amazing i've gone through all that and now finally at the last stage of my studies-- running the last lap now. Not that i'm glad, i must say, i'm not looking forward to working-life at all. Guess i'm refusing to grow up, i love school-life too much, i love having class-mates, going for lessons together with my friends, having lunch as a big group-- all these i'm going to miss so much when i leave school and start working..
Guess i don't have time to worry about that now, as the chinese sayings go," when a person reaches a bridge, it will become straight" and "walk a step, count a step". I shall worry about starting work after i'm done with this current horror (exams)-- all i can do now is take a step at a time, and see how things go (seems that this applies to handling him too, nothing more i can do)..
Anyway, for all u people who are super stressed out now-- relaxxx... Drink some lavender tea, it's supposed to calm ur nerves. why not try meditation? i have a meditation technique here, give it a try. It doesn't work wonders for me, but maybe it'll work for u..!
Find a quiet and comfortable spot, where u can remain undisturbed for at least 5-10 mins. Sit down cross-legged (with ur spine straight) and place both hands on ur knees (palms facing down). Close your eyes and contol ur breathing, concentrate on the rhythm of ur breathing and try as best as u can to block out all sound (this is really difficult, till now i still can't do this, but try ur best). Then, slowly feel your body relaxes, starting from your head, then down to shoulders, and so on, until ur toes are also relaxed. Then imagine a forest, a rainforest (not a jungle with tigers and snakes.. ok? this is supposed to help u relax), with sunshine shining through the canopy layer of the trees. Then imagine u come to a river, imaging u following the flow of the waters, and slowly walking along the side of the river till u come to the end of the forest, and onto this great, green grass plain. Then open ur eyes slowly, relax a bit more (don't stand up immediately), then that's it.. the end..! Read this technique from a meditation guide-book.. had tried it once in a while when i'm getting all stressed out and was tearing out my hair by the brunches. Give it a try, it will help make u feel more Zen too.. haha..
Alrighty, gonna hit the books (a whole huge pile) again..! All the best to u if u are taking ur exams currently too.. Gam-ba-te! Jia you!
Do come back for more of my 'blogging' after the 30th of Nov 2005..! Ciao!
Love,
Clare.
posted @ 2:00 AM
Explanation of pic: this pic is of the view from my room's window at sunset (8pm)... taken on 19th Nov 2005... beautiful, isn't it?.. it was wonderful to just sit on my rocking-chair and stare out the window..
Explanation of pic: The skies of sydney.. Took this pic of the sky on my way back home from school (or rather the 4km hike back from school) one day. Such a beautiful sky-- white clouds, blue sky... i like...